The Two-Patty Theory

We got Burger King for everyone tonight (it was just easier, OK?), and when Daphne opened her Whopper she said, “Mom, I got two patties! Why are there two instead of one?” I said, “I guess it’s your lucky day.” Ten minutes later, she announced that she had five theories as to why she received […]

Really, Presidents Day?

I just spent the last half hour with tweezers, nail clippers, a needle, and finally a razor blade, digging a quarter-inch of No. 2 pencil lead it of my foot. And then cleaning more blood than you’d think could come out of a person’s heel off the carpet. This is why no one should have […]