It just occurred to me…

…that I really don’t have anything interesting to post—well, interesting to you, that is, since I’m sitting here in my “I need a playdate” t-shirt, sipping chilled wine while Phil prepares lobster tails, filet mignon, and salmon tatare and tuna poke. I’m very happy. But you? Maybe not so much. Here, I’ll hold the lobster up to the monitor. See how fresh? Still has the pedicure it got this morning before it wound up in a trap.

But if it makes you feel any better, Phil is laughing behind me, because Everclear’s Volvo-driving Soccer Mom just came on the iTunes shuffle.

Wah

I think they moved out to the suburbs
And now they’re blonde, bland, middle-class republican wives
They all have blonde, bland, middle-class republican children
Blonde, bland, middle-class republican lives

Where do all the porn stars go
When the lights go down?
I think I know where all the porn stars go
They all become volvo-driving soccer moms

Volvo Driving Soccer Mom

Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na

You know I used to be a bad girl
I got busy in the bathroom at my high school prom
Yeah I used to be a dancer at the local strip club
But now I know my right wing from my wrong

Yeah, yeah

I really used to be a bad girl
I had a threesome with my sister and her boyfriend tom
I know I used to be a real wild child
But now I am a volvo-driving soccer mom

Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na

I really used to be a bad girl
I got busted for possession of my wizard-shaped bong
I used to love to do the things they tell me not to do
But now I’m different—now I sing a new song

I really used to be a bad girl
I got gang-banged in the bathroom at my high school prom
Yes, I used to be a real wild child
But now I am a volvo-driving soccer mom

Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na

Where do all the porn stars go
When the lights go down?
I wonder where all the porn stars go
’cause when you need one, they are never around

I think they moved out to the suburbs
And now they’re blonde, bland, middle-class republican wives
They all have blonde, bland, middle-class republican children
Blonde, bland, middle-class republican lives

Where do all the porn stars go
When the lights go down?
I think I know where all the porn stars go
They all become volvo-driving soccer moms

Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na

6 thoughts on “It just occurred to me…

  1. You had me at lobster tails.  But what the heck is tuna poke?  I have gradually expanded my culinary knowledge beyond the flavors of Eggo waffles but this one stumps me.

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