Really, Presidents Day?

I just spent the last half hour with tweezers, nail clippers, a needle, and finally a razor blade, digging a quarter-inch of No. 2 pencil lead it of my foot. And then cleaning more blood than you’d think could come out of a person’s heel off the carpet. This is why no one should have […]


Guy took another of his boys into urgent care down the street. Last week his youngest needed his head stitched; this time the eldest broke a toe. As soon as they walked in, the intake nurse finger-gunned him, squinted, and said, “Mindy, right?”


I’m seriously ill again with that effing recurring kidney infection. We can’t figure out why the Rocephin didn’t knock it out last month. I felt GREAT in the intervening weeks and then, BAM. Happy fourth of July. I’m going to have to name it soon. “Infection” seems so impersonal, and “Pyelonephritis” seems too imperial. What […]

Does anyone remember this?

The goddamn fucking gate has been off the fence all this time and someone just stole my gas BBQ. It was here before I left for mom’s birthday dinner last night. All I needed was to get the stupid thing back on the post. People offered to help but I didn’t stand there with a […]

Well, at least the holiday shoe has landed!

Last night, I celebrated the first day of winter break at the emergency room, courtesy of my Rabbit wine opener. It has a stubborn mechanism and you have to pull and then push a little harder to get the cork out. The handle snapped off and sliced open my thumb from knuckle to knuckle. Give […]